Later

woman drinking coffee:teaBy Susan K. Boyd MS, MFT

Scarlett O’Hara’s famous line in the classic movie, Gone With the Wind, was “I can’t think about this now; I’ll think about it tomorrow!” Unfortunately, some of us live most our lives like that. And if we do, tomorrow becomes today, quicker than we think. Procrastination may look like laziness but other factors may contribute to putting things off, instead of getting them done. Two of those factors are perfectionism and fear.
Some people feel that if we can’t do a project perfectly, then they should put it aside, until they can do it justice. They aren’t satisfied with just getting it finished. Procrastinations are justified by believing they are not ready; they just want it to be done right. For example, people might tell themselves, “I don’t want to go through those piles of papers and deal with them until I have a good filing system figured out.” That kind of thinking raises the bar to a level, that they imagine, is unattainable. They dread going back to it and so we never do.
To have some success over perfectionism we can say the cliché,  “A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” Another way to make a shift in our thinking is to tackle the project and when we are finished, look at it and say, “That is good enough.” If we keep good enough in our self-talk, we will have more grace for ourselves, and get lots more accomplished.
Fear is the second reason people say, “I will do that later,” and later never comes. Fear debilitates and can even paralyze us in our lives. Fear exaggerates the outcome and predicts only the worse scenario until people can feel doomed and hopeless. To put the brakes on terrified thinking, tell yourself the truth.
Here’s a quick way to manage fear that leads to procrastination: Make three columns on a piece of paper. On the top of the first column write, “What I Want to Accomplish,” on the second the column write, “The Fear,” and on the third column write, “The Truth.” Here is an example: What I Want to Accomplish=get a raise. The Fear=my boss will think I am ungrateful if I ask and he or she will never look at me the same, which could jeopardize my ever getting a raise or a promotion to the next level in my company. The Truth=If I let my boss know how much I appreciate working there, and how much I like my job, and I give him or her reasons I would like to be considered for a raise, I am, probably, going to be seen as assertive, reasonable and valuable to my employer. And then, if I don’t get the raise I am no worse off than I was before I asked.
One last attack on procrastination is when to simply get started. Get up and move in the direction you wish go. You just might eliminate perfectionism, and fear, with the Nike, ad slogan, “Just Do It!”

Susan K. Boyd is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in SLO. She can be reached for counseling at (805) 782-9800 or by email: .  Also see www.susankboydmft.com