By Susan K. Boyd MS, MFT
“Would you like to donate something to the troops today?” The checker behind the counter asks me the question as she rings up the items in my cart. “Sure”, I replied. Later, I went home and noticed some of my Face Book friends posted pictures of men and women in the armed forces. These were tender, and touching videos of soldiers surprising their families who did not know they had returned home.
One of my favorite surprise ‘reveals,’ was a soldier dressed out in a football uniform. He stood across from his son on the field at a football game. The dad wore a helmet. Then he pulled his helmet off, facing the boy who stood with the other players on the line of scrimmage. The shocked teenager grabbed his father in an embrace and sobbed as the crowds in the stands cheered. The boy did not let go of his father for a long time. No one seemed to care about the kickoff. Everyone was a part of the drama unfolding between a soldier and his son.
The month of the 4th of July becomes a celebration of our country’s freedom. But it is also an acknowledgment of the freedom fighters that keep this country free. I am sad when I think how different it was for the Vietnam Vets who came home without fanfare. They did not have the tickertape parades of their fathers who fought in WWII. And they didn’t receive society’s outpouring of love, they see their uniformed children often get. I don’t recall strangers stopping someone in uniform during the 1960’s as they do today, saying, “Thank you for serving for us”.
My point is not political but psychological. People in the armed forces need to feel like they are cared about and needed. Community, families, and even strangers who share a love of country and a love of freedom, can make a difference in a soldier’s life, by their simple appreciation. Inviting a soldier or vet to join your family for a summer barbeque or other events says, “You are important to us”. A last thought about our troops needs to be addressed. Many freedom fighters face a private battle of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety, depression, difficulties integrating back into family life and suicidal ideation. Suicide is the soldier’s secret war. For instance, in 2012 the army reported 176 soldiers died in battle, but alarmingly, 182 died by suicide. Veterans are more than twice as likely to commit suicide as civilians, according to a December report in the LA times. If you are a veteran or know one that needs help, here is a crises hotline you can share: 800-273-8255.
Because I think laughter is therapeutic, I am recommending a video to every freedom fighter, and the rest of us that support and appreciate them and love music! Watch army soldiers in Afghanistan perform to Carly-Rae-Jepsen’s song, ‘Call Me Maybe.’ (Several military music videos were made of that song, but the one I like shows the soldiers in Afghanistan and was posted on August 21.) Go on line and type: us army music video aug 21 call me maybe. Scroll down to the first in the list: US Soldiers Cover “Call Me Maybe”. (It will say Afghanistan and Aug 21.) I guarantee you will be singing or moving to the music!
Have a great 4th of July month and enjoy your freedoms all year!
Susan K. Boyd MS, MFT is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in SLO. She can be reached for counseling at (805) 782-9800 or email: . Also see www.susankboydmft.com