Miss Etiquette: I have been dating a woman for about a month and this will be our first Valentine’s Day. How do I make it memorable without being over the top since we are just starting out?
Etiquette deems that a man and woman who are not engaged and who are simply dating may give a gift that is ‘above the shirt.’ That means as cute as all those frilly undergarments are for women (and men) that adorn the mannequins downtown, that is where they should stay.
A single woman who is dating a single man wants to be remembered on Valentine’s Day as it holds so much history as well as expectations. Relax. This is really easy as it is supposed to be fun and full of excitement. One thing you want to do is keep the afternoon and evening moving along. Because we aren’t teenagers anymore, I am giving you all the hints that you will need to make this day memorable for you and your girlfriend. If you are going to make several stops and do several activities, make sure you space enough time between all of the events you have planned. When I suggest you call to make reservations early, I am serious. Do that part now!
Certainly, give your girlfriend a box of candy all wrapped in red paper. Most candy stores will begin to have Valentine gift boxes by this weekend. On-line candy retailers have already started with their displays and assortments with a shipping ‘code word’ having something to do with February 14th. Once the code word is placed on the order form the shipping cost is very low and sometimes only amounts to five dollars for the entire order. That is how the on-line stores get your attention.
If you want to give flowers, that’s fine. Even better? Give a single, yellow rose, which stands for friendship. Be sure to order it in advance and have the courtesy clerk in the flower shop arrange it along with some greenery in a tall, slender bud vase. There is nothing so out-of-place as flowers that are simply handed to a woman.
Dinner is expected. Since you two have just started dating you probably have a favorite place to dine. Call that restaurant and make reservations right away. The issues with the two of you going to a place you have never been before is the service and the meal. The meal preparation and presentation may not be to your expectations. Therefore, to play it safe, dine where you customarily dine.
Know how to make this late afternoon start out really special? First of all, be on time. If you said you are going to be at her door at 4:30 p.m., be there at 4:30 p.m. Be sure to sandwich between your arrival at the door with the yellow rose and the dinner reservation something spectacular that both of you would enjoy! It could be a few hours at a live theater, miniature golf games, a kayak trip off of the coast, an adventurous ride in a rented fun car, a walk on the beach, or on a country road that you two have talked about before, a horseback ride on the beach, or fishing off of a pier. Both of you are to have fun on this day. And be sure you have your phone for lots of selfies as your mark the day. To add to this, have an eight and a half by nine inch piece of white poster board with “Valentine’s Day, 2015” printed in deep red on it and have it laminated. And make sure you two are holding on to it during all of the photo ops.
When you take her home, hand her a little gift, wrapped in red paper. The contents may be placed in a small gift box. You probably already know what she collects so here’s a suggestion for a way to end the memorable day. Maybe she collects red earrings, Valentine Day hearts, sayings on small cubes of wood, small picture frames; shot glasses from every place she visits, small red piggy banks, red coffee cups, or red sunglasses. If you are really stuck with what to do, go on-line to visit a site that sells Valentine’s Day themed phone cases. The assortment at ‘cafepress.com’ is delightful as is ‘aliexpress.com.’
You are going to make your girlfriend very happy without having to be over the top. She won’t hardly be able to wait to tell her friends, “We did this and then we did this and then we……and then we had dinner and then…..” Most important? Be thoughtful. And you do not have to utter those three little words, either.
