San Luis Obispo
• May 26: Police got a suspicious incident report at 6:23 a.m. from a citizen at Sacramento and Orcutt, who said three Mexicans were passing tools over a fence, further proof a wall doesn’t work.
• May 26: Police were called at 6:14 a.m. to the Edna Valley Shell for a suspicious subject. Some guy was there saying “Police Arrest, Police Arrest, Police Arrest” over and over. The apparent Rainman wasn’t detained.
• May 26: Police were called at 5 a.m. to the first block of Las Prederas to CTW of whoever’s legs were sticking out from under a bush. The coroner wasn’t called, which is always a good sign.
• May 26: A citizen called at 3:58 a.m. to complain about diesel trucks’ air brakes squawking and the other noises of a loading dock at the Sears Warehouse in the 1300 block of Roundhouse between 3:45-4:45 a.m. every morning. No arrests were made, as apparently working for a living, no matter the hour, is not yet against the law.
• May 26: Police encountered a suspicious stumblebum at 3:28 a.m. in the 900 block of Higuera outside Abercrombie & Fitch. The 35-year-old bent fellow was arrested for resisting arrest and then found to be holding suspected drugs, which explains a lot.
• May 26: Someone reported vandalism at Old San Luis BBQ in the 600 block of Higuera.
• May 26: Police were called at 2:24 a.m. to the 1000 block of Chorro at the El Matador Restaurant where a creepy man was bothering customers.
• May 26: Police were called at 2:06 a.m. to the 3100 block of Estelita for a domestic dustup between male-female roommates. Logs indicated the woman was arrested for suspicion of co-habitant battery, apparently roommates with benefits and liabilities, too.
• May 26: Police were called at 1:30 a.m. to the 1100 block of Garden where some guy was crashed out in a Ford truck with a camper. On the other hand, at 1:17 a.m. at The Graduate some revved up revelers were revving their V-8s. They’d driven off into the night before police arrived.
• May 26: Police were called at 1:12 a.m. to Mo Tav in the 700 block of Higuera for a disorderly gent with a bloody face.
• May 26: Police were called at 12:38 a.m. to the Frog & Peach Pub on Higuera after some toad broke items in a patio of a lily pad behind the bar.
• May 25: Police were called at 11:43 p.m. to the 11900 block of LOVR where some apparently hammered fellow was refusing to leave the Olive Garden, no doubt another satisfied customer.
• May 25: Police were called at 11 p.m. to the 3700 block of Higuera for a report of a woman having difficulty breathing, as she’d reportedly been strangled.
• May 25: Someone burgled a home in the 300 block of Kentucky and stole an Apple MacBook Pro, 15-inch laptop and jewelry.
• May 25: Police were called at 10:10 p.m. to the 1100 block of Chorro for seven white boys in their late teens or early 20s loitering about and one swine just took a whizz on the Black Sheep B&G.
• May 25: At 9:36 p.m. police got a 9-1-1 hang-up call from some blasted fellow at Blast 825 Taproom.
• May 25: Police were called to the Chevron Station in the 2000 block of Monterey where some plastered pest wouldn’t stop pestering the caller. The maleficent mongrel was tossed to the nick on suspicion of being sideways.
• May 25: Police were called at 8:46 p.m. to an office building in the 1200 block of Higuera to deal with a transient man who was standing outside drinking beer and, he’s smoking cigarettes! — A hanging offense in this town.
• May 25: Police responded at 6 p.m. to a disturbance in the 700 block of Higuera. Several apparent anarchist transients were harassing and yelling derogatory names at the employees of Roxanne’s Birkenstock store, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• May 25: A man called 9-1-1 from the 800 block of Meinecke saying he has problems and can’t trust the people at the Optometric Center, no word on how he feels about the dentist.
• May 25: At 4:56 p.m. in a City parking lot in the 600 block of Higuera someone called 9-1-1 to report a San Looney felony — the pop-up sprinklers were on.
• May 25: At 4:42 p.m. there was a 2-car collision at Grove and Mill and one car hit a house but apparently didn’t crash through the wall, a case of good thing they built them like they used to.
• May 25: Police were called at 4:19 p.m. to the 11500 block of LOVR for a report of a highly agitated transient man mining the trash while cursing to himself, no doubt because he can’t redeem the bottles and cans.
• May 25: Police towed off a white Kia Optima abandoned in the 700 block of Marsh. Someone also abandoned a red-blue-black 4-door sedan in the 100 block of Casa, a Mercury Grand Marquis in the 1500 block of Chorro, a motorhome with a boat and trailer was left in the 2300 block of Sendero, an F-150 was Found On the Road Dead in the 1400 block of Oceanaire, and on Lincoln at Broad, someone abandoned an old school bus.
• May 25: Some vandal scratched up a big front window in the 700 block of Higuera at Central Coast Wines, as the civilized fall prey once again to the barbarians at the gates.
• May 25: Police got a 9-1-1 call from a frantic elderly woman in the 1200 block of Southwood who was panicked because she couldn’t find her car keys, a possible case of, “Hey lady, maybe you shouldn’t drive.”
• May 25: A citizen called at 10:50 a.m. from the first block of South to have police CTW of a transient man passed out in the gutter with a beer can laying next to him.
• May 25: Police were called at 9:45 p.m. to the 1100 block of Santa Rosa for a report of three transient men drinking hooch and smoking the evil weed. Twenty minutes later in the 1400 block of Santa Rosa, some maniac was pounding on the door of the Senior Center and yelling, “Police!”
• May 25: Police were called at 9:20 a.m. to City Hall after a U-Haul parked in front of the library backed into the fire chief’s truck. No word on whether there’s video.
