San Luis Obispo
• Sept 15: Police got a noise complaint at 6 a.m. about a septic tank pumper truck behind Grocery Outlet, making a withdrawal and not a delivery let’s hope.
• Sept. 15: Police were called at 5:30 a.m. to the 1300 block of Osos for a woman screaming her fool head off outside Grace Church. No arrest as she apparently graciously shut the hell up.
• Sept. 15: A woman called at 3:25 a.m. from the 800 block of Upham to report a strange man at her front door.
• Sept. 15: At 2:27 a.m. police responded to Pismo and Broad to check the welfare of a man down. Logs indicated the inebriated fellow was dead drunk that is and apparently conked his head on the way down.
• Sept. 15: Police contacted at 2:11 a.m. an apparently sizzled woman in the 700 block of Higuera outside Kevin Main Jewelry. The 21-year old was checked into the County B&B.
• Sept. 15: Police were called at 1:49 a.m. to the 600 block of Marsh for two ruffians fighting in the street outside McCarthy’s Cocktail Lounge and apparent fight club. No arrests and the fight was declared a draw.
• Sept. 15: Police got called at 1:46 a.m. to the 1100 block of Chorro over two disorderly blackhearts outside Black Sheep B&G. At 1:22 a.m. another schnockered schmuck was run amok in the 600 block of Higuera at McLintock’s Saloon. A 20-year-old hophead was arrested for being zosted.
• Sept. 15: Police got a report at 12:17 a.m. in the 3800 block of Higuera of a bicyclist down in the roadway.
• Sept. 15: Police were called at 12:10 a.m. to the 200 block of Tank Farm Rd., where someone was passed out in the crapper of a crappy little mobile home park.
• Sept. 14: Police were called at 11:22 p.m. to the 1700 block of Singletree where a woman told them when she got home a strange man approached and said some undisclosed apparent unpleasantness.
• Sept. 14: A music critic in the 600 block of Higuera complained at 11 p.m. that the deep bass line from the band at Marsten’s was resonating loudly inside his home, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Sept. 14: Someone called at 10:12 p.m. to report under-aged revelers drinking hooch while sitting in parked cars outside the Graduate.
• Sept. 14: A citizen called at 9:50 p.m. from the 300 block of Foothill complained about loud voices of people playing Beer Pong.
• Sept. 14: Police were asked to check the welfare of a an in the 1300 block of Balboa. According to logs, a man who was “not well” at his therapist appointment earlier that day, is psychotic and has been smoking marijuana, in yet another case of reefer madness.
• Sept. 14: Police responded to a disturbance in the 1200 block of Broad where some dingus was acting out at the Libertine Brewing Co. The 28-year-old spanked fellow was arrested and put out of our misery.
• Sept. 14: Police were called at 6:21 p.m. to the 3100 block of McMillan where two transient men were setting up camp in a parking lot. They were gone when police arrived 30 minutes later.
• Sept. 14: Police were called at 5:16 p.m. regarding a problem juvenile girl at Cypress and High. Logs indicated the 10-year-old hellion was creating havoc while riding a Razor Scooter.
• Sept. 14: Police were called at 4:20 p.m. by the Principal at C.L. Smith School who had a child in the office whose parents apparently didn’t pick him or her up after school.
• Sept. 14: Police were called at 10:07 a.m. to the Pacific Beach Continuation High School in the 11900 block of LOVR where a student was caught with marijuana and was now in the Principal’s Office, so much for legalization. In an unrelated call, officers were sent to Hawthorne School in the 2100 block of Story after a first grader had just ditched school.
